


SPOILER ALERT

by Munchin_Munchkin



Category: Naruto
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Chuunin Exams, F/M, Fluff and Crack, Gen, Grammarly is my beta, Kakashi Week 2020, Kakashi is Unamused, Naruto is a troll, POV Alternating, Pre-Shippuden, Smart Haruno Sakura, Smart Uzumaki Naruto, Team Bonding, Time Skips, Wave arc, attempt at an action scene, fight scenes are Hard, it wouldn't stop growing
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-10-10
Updated: 2020-10-23
Packaged: 2021-03-08 02:42:45
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 13,033
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26748256
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Munchin_Munchkin/pseuds/Munchin_Munchkin
Summary: So yeah, he's completely fed up with his sensei's attitude and resorts to extreme measures to finally get some real training when Kakashi finally shows up."Kyousuke killed Michio!"Silence falls over the training ground as Sasuke and Sakura turn to stare at Naruto like he's lost his head before their shock is focused on the unusual stillness of their sensei. Slowly, the ever-present orange book is lowered to Kakashi's sternum (lower than they have ever seen it go before), the only visible silver brow raises, and a flat, almost menacing voice is heard."What."Naruto meets the lone gray eye, firms his stance, juts out his chin, and changes the course of Team 7's future forever.ORThat AU where Naruto learns the power of spoilers WAY earlier than in canon and makes Kakashi want to cry.
Relationships: Dai-nana-han | Team 7 & Hatake Kakashi, Haruno Sakura & Uchiha Sasuke & Uzumaki Naruto, Haruno Sakura & Yamanaka Ino, Haruno Sakura/Uchiha Sasuke, Hatake Kakashi & Uzumaki Naruto
Comments: 56
Kudos: 456





	1. The Ultimatum

**Author's Note:**

> Unbeta'd
> 
> Day 7: Reading | ~~Youkai/Japanese mythology~~
> 
> *Hides from VLD and BnHA fandoms* Guess who was sucked back into the Naruto fandom and realized that liking Kakashi as a 26-year-old adult is very different from liking him as a 13-year-old girl?  
> I blame my reintegration into the Naruto fandom on [Tsume_Yuki](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tsume_Yuki/pseuds/Tsume_Yuki) and [this](https://archiveofourown.org/series/1640212) series of theirs. 
> 
> I am also in the middle of a Master's in Public Health (that I ironically signed up for way back in January before Everything Went to Shit) and really don't feel like doing my hw. Yay fanfiction!
> 
> Been messing with this idea since I saw the prompt on the last day of the official week and thought I'd give it a shot, but I got lost on the road of life and missed the deadline. It's a little late for Kakashi Week 2020, but isn't that lateness a better Kakashi tribute than anything I could have written? ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
> 
> This chapter was brought to you by Naruto. Happy Birthday, you little foxy bastard!
> 
> If you want recs on stories for BnHa, VLD, Harry Potter, or Naruto, or just want to pester me into actually writing out the fics I said I would, come by and chat/poke/spy on my [main](http://munchin-munchkin.tumblr.com/) or [writing](http://pencil-punchin-munchkin.tumblr.com/) tumblrs. 
> 
> If you wanna give me more time to write, support me on [Ko-Fi](https://ko-fi.com/munchinmunchkin)!
> 
> Comments and Kudos are always welcomed.
> 
> Enjoy! \\(*^.^*)/

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Is it weird that I prefer writing in the AO3 editor to Office or Docs?
> 
> This was meant to be a one-shot, but it kept growing and I kept having to take a day between sections and realized about 21 pages in that it'll have to a multichap piece if I'm gonna be able to fit in everything I want.

It's Week 2 of Naruto's life as an official ninja when he decides that he is done.

Two weeks of wasting _hours_ waiting for their lazy sensei, only for him to make them run a couple of laps and then do chores disguised as missions until the sun sets, where Kakashi finally lowers his stupid book, gives them that damned eye-smile, and poofs away only to do it all again the next day.

Naruto didn't expect that he'd miss the academy, but at least he could look forward to learning _something_ in between (and sometimes during) Iruka-sensei's verbal beatdowns, even on the days he skipped class.

So yeah, he's completely fed up with his sensei's attitude and resorts to extreme measures to get some _real_ training when Kakashi finally shows up.

"Kyousuke killed Michio!"

Silence falls over the training ground as Sasuke and Sakura turn to stare at Naruto like he's lost his head before their shock is focused on the unusual stillness of their sensei. Slowly, the ever-present orange book is lowered to Kakashi's sternum (lower than they have ever seen it go before), a silver brow raises, and a flat, almost menacing voice is heard.

"What."

Naruto meets the lone gray eye, firms his stance, juts out his chin, and changes the course of Team 7's path forever.

"Kyousuke killed Michio because he was in love with Michio's fiance, Izumi. He seduced her while she was mourning and stole the deed to Michio's company, which Izumi finds out, but only after she's pregnant." Kakashi's eye gets wider as the book falls to hang limply at his side. Naruto decides that if he's gone this far, he might as well go all in. "She tells Kyousuke that the baby is his to buy time, but it's really Michio's, and Izumi spends the rest of her pregnancy trying to kill him since she's worried that the baby will look too much like her father for the lie to hold. Ayumi is born and looks exactly like Izumi, but Kyousuke has figured out what Izumi has been trying to do and kills her while making it look like she died in childbirth. The book ends with Kyousuke thinking Ayumi is his daughter and leaves her with the head maid, who is really Izumi's childhood friend that has a mysterious letter for Ayumi to read on her 8th birthday."

Naruto glares at his sensei when he finishes and delivers his ultimatum.

"I'll spoil the next book, and the next one, and every book I catch you reading from now on if you don't take us seriously."

For a long moment, there is only the rustling of leaves in the wind and then there's a sharp snap of a book being shut as a dark aura floods the field, making the Genin stand at attention.

"Mah, no need to be so mean, Naru-chan.~" he drawls, causing a shiver of Real Fear to crawl down Naruto's spine. "All you had to do was ask, but since I now have nothing better to do, I'll just have to run my cute little Genin into the ground!"

A flash of silver was Naruto's only warning before he's flung into Sasuke's side, who falls onto Sakura beside him. They all scramble away from each other and onto their feet in the suddenly empty clearing, backs unconsciously pressed together so tight that they can feel the others tremble when Kakashi's voice echoes around them.

"I guess it's time to spar!~"

\---

By the end of the day, Team 7 had gone on no missions and are more bruise than skin, but they managed to almost halve their reaction times by sunset. The Genin have collapsed in the same back-to-back-to-back formation with no energy left to do more than twitch in unison when Kakashi appears in front of them again.

"I hope that was up to scratch, Naru-chan!~" he says in the same happy tone that Team 7 now associates with Great Pain before dropping back into the apathetic persona they knew from before this hellish day and poofs away with a dull "Same time tomorrow."

The Genin relax more loosely into each other's sides for a solid twenty minutes as they catch their breath enough to make their journeys home. Sasuke is the first one to break apart from the group, which is unsurprising with how little he likes to be touched but doesn't leave immediately. He waits until Sakura and then Naruto get to their feet as well before he stares right at Naruto and makes his declaration.

"You need to do it again."

The other two just stare at him confusedly before realization and fear break over Sakura's face, but she doesn't speak out against him. A full minute passes with no comprehension from Naruto before Sasuke gives in and clarifies.

"Whatever you did to get Kakashi to train us for real like he did today needs to happen again," Sasuke says, shocking Naruto into taking a step back. "This was our first real day of training and I refuse to backslide now that I'm finally making progress. So, if he hasn't figured out how you're doing it and you can do it again to get us more training tomorrow, do it."

Naruto looks from Sasuke to Sakura, uncertainty painted clearly across his face. Sakura's eyes dart between her teammates as her hands scrunch up the hem of her ruined dress before nodding, unable to say anything else.

"...alright." Naruto finally says, because he sort of planned on doing that anyway, but it's nice to know that his teammates aren't pissed about what he got them into today. "I'll do my best, dattebayo!"

* * *

The next day starts the same way with Team 7 waiting on the training grounds for hours until Kakashi appears with a bad excuse in one hand and that orange book in the other. Naruto can already feel Sasuke's eyes boring into the side of his head as one minute of Kakashi just reading turns to two, but Naruto has already decided to give their sensei five minutes to finish and save his page.

So, they wait and when five minutes come and go, Naruto makes his move.

"Sensei?" He starts, already annoyed that his warning wasn't taken seriously.

Kakashi just hums in answer, eyes not leaving the page, but Naruto feels like maybe the man is just that bit more on edge.

"Are you going to train us seriously today too?" Naruto says in a too hopeful tone.

"Hmmm, maybe after I finish this part..." Kakashi replies, flipping a page for emphasis. "After all, I need to find out what Ayumi is going to do with the letter from the last book."

At that, Sakura's burning stare joins Sasuke's on the other side of Naruto's head, but he doesn't seem to notice as his brows scrunch in confusion.

"Eh? But Ayumi isn't even in that book, did you switch series or something?"

The book in question snaps shut but stays up by his face as Kakashi's dead stare meets Naruto's once more with his brow raised in question. Naruto flushes a little with no righteous anger backing his words this time around but carries on with the plan.

"I mean, _The Diverging Rivers_ is a little long since it's like at thirteen books right now and still going, but you were only at the beginning so I'm not sure why you'd switch unless you really don't like Ayumi. I don't blame you. She's really annoying until you get to book four, but her revenge on Kyousuke is definitely worth it." He's rambling and Kakashi's starting to look smug at having thrown Naruto off, only for the mischievous smirk on that whiskered face to kill any rising hope. "But I guess _The Castles of the Eastern Range_ is great too. I mean, I never would have guessed that they were all trapped in a multi-layered Genjutsu." The smirk on one face grows into a foxy grin across two more as the book in hand finally falls to Kakashi's side. "The craziest part had to be when-"

"Alright!" Kakashi finally breaks as he puts the book away and his hands up almost defensively. What little of his face showing scrunches up into a scowl that would frighten the Genin more if they weren't so clearly happy at finally having one-up on their sensei. "I guess it's time to spar..." Kakashi grumbles as if mocking the reflexive fear those words have put into the Team after the day before. He puts his hands together in a sign of focus that has Sakura tensing immediately and grabbing her teammates' arms just as their sensei literally melts into shadows.

Sakura disrupts all their chakras, breaking the Genjutsu and revealing the inky puddle to actually be a lit exploding tag that has the three Genins heading for the surrounding trees. They run for what feels like hours, never making it any closer to the trees until Sasuke shouts "Multilayer!" as he grabs Naruto and Sakura's arms to free them again. The scenery melts to show them right back at the start with the exploding tag still lit. Sasuke still hasn't let go and tries another disruption wave, but his control slips when another tag primed kunai suddenly flanks them. Sakura curses and grabs Naruto's arm, completing the little circle of their group and disrupts the next two layers in quick succession, revealing both tags to be blank and for Kakashi to have not even moved since he formed the first sign.

Sasuke palms a kunai and is about to rush in to retaliate, but it's Naruto who reaches out this time and pulls him back. Sasuke glares at him, but Naruto ignores it and says, "The twist was that the caster was with the original group the entire time!"

The air in the middle of their circle growls and shimmers until their sensei comes into focus. All three disengage immediately and regroup with backs pressed tight together. Naruto is the one who ends up facing Kakashi who seems to teleport all over the field in front of him without moving at all as Sakura continues to send disrupting waves at random intervals through her back.

"How do I do that?" Naruto asks, feeling a little helpless as Kakashi's teleporting gets closer with every third release.

Sakura's waves pause for a second before she starts again and answers. "Gather your chakra in a fixed point and ripple it through you to break anyone else's hold on you. If you do it while touching someone, you can ripple through them too."

So Naruto does just that. He gathers the wiggly energy inside him, barely holding onto the wisps that fly out at random times, and imagines shaking it out like his bed sheets on laundry day.

The scrunched ball of chakra in him pulses more than ripples, causing Sakura and Sasuke to stumble a bit and turn to him just in time to see the wave wash away both Kakashi and an entire line of trees in front of them.

"Well," Kakashi says from behind them, making them jump around with shoulders together now, all three trying to disrupt an illusion that isn't there anymore. "I didn't expect that last pulse to break through so many layers at once," he says, gaze lingering on Naruto for an uncomfortably long moment. "A little excessive though..." He hums when his gaze switches over to Sakura with some consideration. "Let's see if we can fix that."

The Team continues to break through Genjutsu of all kinds for the next few hours, sweating even more than they were yesterday by the end of it. Naruto's waves were much tamer and less physical than before while still maintaining the power needed to break five layers at almost twenty meters, but Sakura's disruptions were the fastest and more effective for freeing her comrades, and Sasuke was so sensitive to the illusions that the other two began disrupting as soon as he tensed a specific way. Their positions on the ground mirror the day before from the end of the training session, right down to the petulant teacher sulking next to them.

"Same time tomorrow" Kakashi grouses with his eye fixed on Naruto again as he reaches for his book. Naruto just grunts and doesn't open his mouth until Kakashi poofs away.

The three stay like that for an entire half-hour as dusk begins to really set in before they get back onto their feet.

"Again?" Naruto asks because today was great too and he really wants to know if this is their new normal.

It's Sakura who answers this time, chest heaving a little less, but with a confidence that she didn't have yesterday lining her jaw as she looks Naruto in the eye and gives a firm "Yes."

* * *

It continues like that, every day for about a week and a half with Kakashi switching up series and genres at least once a day to try and throw Naruto off when he realizes that his funds are getting low and he's got rent due soon. Naruto brings it up with his teammates while they wait and asks if they can take missions too instead of just training for a few days. Sasuke looks like he's going to refuse, but makes a strange face when Naruto admits that he needs the rent money and just tells him to go ahead.

That's why when Kakashi finally shows up with a book in hand, squeezing all he can in the five-minutes Naruto gives him while furiously trying to figure out how the brat knows what he's reading when no one in the past seven years thought there was anything beyond the pervy book sleeve, Naruto begins with a request for discussions rather than vaguely threatening to ruin the end of anything. The suspicion coming off Kakashi is almost palpable, but he allows it and is externally surprised and internally guilty when Naruto explains his sudden need for income.

"Mah, I guess we can squeeze in some missions in the afternoons," he says mentally cackling at the thought of signing up his Genin for some of the worst D-ranks available. "but let's start with conditioning and katas today."

Their morning is considerably less intense than the days before except for the few times Kakashi tries to read instead of correcting their forms or do the conditioning stretches and runs with his much slower team. Naruto would have left him to read for the latter if he weren't mostly sure that at least some of the hours they waste waiting for him were because he was reading somewhere else.

They train until lunchtime and then head off to the missions' desk after their meal. The Genin glare in unison when a too happy Kakashi requests to catch Tora and they all ignore the sympathetic looks from the desk workers. They share looks while walking behind their sensei before Naruto nods, causing evil smiles to spread across Sakura's and Sasuke's faces and a chill to run down Kakashi's spine. He turns to give them a suspicious look, but all he finds are the disgruntled expressions he expects. He shrugs and pushes the feeling to the back of his mind, missing the mischievous glint in a pair of vindictive blue eyes.

It isn't until an hour later that the feeling returns when the Genin finally manages to corner Tora in the marketplace. Kakashi is happily reading as his team (badly) track and (even more terribly) corral the actual Demon of Konoha into a dead-end alleyway when his team of little monsters round on him in the middle of their planning session and inform him of his role.

Normally, Kakashi would indulge them and do whatever the Team Leader at the time (Sakura for now) would decide. However, this is the first time in 10 days that he's been able to get more than five pages into a story before being brutally ripped out with threats and attacks on his (spiritual) person. So, really, his refusal should have been expected by everyone involved and indeed it was.

The payback should have also been expected, but Kakashi still underestimates how easily and thoroughly his students have learned his lessons of dealing revenge with "extreme prejudice" while training.

"The kids aren't dead, they're missing."

The crinkling pages are the only thing that can be heard in the suddenly quiet corner of the market. Vendors, customers, suddenly on-alert Shinobi of all ranks, and even the animals that brave the crowded area for scraps have all fallen silent and still at the disturbingly large and potent spike of Killing Intent released by the rigid Jounin.

"What." Kakashi breathes, anger rising at the audacity of his brats.

"Takeo, Daisuke, and Hanami are missing, not dead. They learn about it halfway through the book." says the unapologetic Naruto, flanked by his equally unphased teammates in the face of their irate sensei. "I mean, it's a little obvious when Haruka is reading Hanami's diary, but you only really start seeing it when Shintarou starts talking about Daisuke's childhood." Blue eyes sharpen with a deadly intent that Kakashi thought had died with Minato. "I told you what would happen if you don't take us seriously, sensei."

"I have been taking your training seriously!" Kakashi hisses, more offended for not seeing the plot twist himself than he is for having it spoiled for him.

The Team just nod indulgently like they aren't ruining Kakashi's life.

"You have," Sakura says with the sweet smile of little girls, back-stabbing liars, and scamming merchants. "But the deal was that you would take _us_ seriously, not just our training."

"Hn," Sasuke adds, somehow sounding disinterested and horribly haughty at the same time. "That includes missions you run with us."

"So, sensei~" Naruto mocks using the same playfully sadistic tone Kakashi is beginning to realize _he_ taught the boy (fitting since he learned it from the boy's _mother_ ). "Are you going to go back on _your word_ or are we going to finish the mission _together_?"

It is on that baffling note that the entire market witnesses the great Sharingan no Kakashi, Master of 1,000 Jutsu with both Kill and Flee-On-Sight warnings in every bingo book to date, Son of the White Fang, and the only living student of Konoha's Yellow Flash and Yondaime Hokage, slump in total defeat and grumble petulantly as he tucks away his little orange book and follow his smug Genin into the alley where furious hissing and swears can immediately be heard.

The marketplace blink as one entity before cackling from one of the shinobi filled rooftops can be heard and the spell is broken. Everyone goes on their merry way, but it doesn't take even an hour for the whole of Konoha to learn of the incident through the most accurate retellings outside of ANBU mission reports. Gossiping whispers can be heard from every corner of the village that night as wonder turns to _wonder_ and debates break out over the logistics of _how_ Hatake has finally been leashed.

While the village is being thrown into quiet chaos, no one thinks to bother the lone Jounin in his almost bare apartment in the Shinobi District as he mourns in front of a massively stocked bookcase nor do they bother the group of three Genin that are quietly happy to be making their way through the Civilian District to hold the first of many Team Bonding Nights.

* * *

After a night of the others unsuccessfully needling Naruto into teaching them how to do what he does, the three Genin (but mostly Sakura) write up a schedule and Budget Plan for the Team that'll allow for enough D-ranks to keep Naruto afloat, diverse enough training for Sasuke to be satisfied, and downtime for Sakura to recover until she builds up more stamina. It's Sakura, with her poison-sweet smile, that hands the notebook to Kakashi, telling him he has ten minutes to read and process the new Plan while the Genin finish their morning conditioning which was the first activity to be moved to the "Waiting Hours" to make room for actual training.

Kakashi twitches, bemoaning the fact that he won't even get his five extra minutes today and decides to cheat by pushing up his headband and Sharingan whatever his awful little students have come up with.

Needless to say, this sudden reveal immediately derails the schedule by an entire day that is filled with explanations, bloodied histories, and promises to face what may come as a Team.

* * *

A full month of their new schedule (now back on track) has gone by when the Hokage assigns them their first C-rank mission.

In another life, a Naruto who still received half-hearted training and was beyond frustrated would whine and wheedle his way into this assignment.

In another life, a Kakashi who still didn't think his team could work together would accept in the hopes of some danger kicking them into high gear.

In this life, the Hokage has heard of the whispers of a Genin who tamed a Jounin, witnessed the miracle that was the coming together of this disaster of a team, and trusts in the budding strength he can see in the boy he thinks of as a grandson.

In this life, Team 7 still goes to Wave, but things go a little differently.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hint: Naruto doesn't need to use chakra to be able to do his little trick.


	2. The Obligatory Wave Arc

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Still unbeta'd.
> 
> 100 KUDOS? 20 BOOKMARKS?! HOW?!?! (Seriously, thank you all for your support. It's incredibly motivating to know that I'm not just casting this fic into the void I thought was a dead fandom.)
> 
> I'm someone who hates reading the exact same events over and over so the Wave Arc a special kind of hell. I skipped a lot of the things I didn't change or thought the changes that were so small that they'd be buried in the play-by-play this chapter would have turned into if I let it. Apologies if you're a purist who thrives off that kind of thing, but I did tag this as canon-divergence so...
> 
> On a lighter note, I keep reading the beginning of this chapter as "Kakashiously" and then giggle uncontrollably.
> 
> Oinin = Hunter Ninja (eliminates/captures traitors and spies)  
> Iryonin = Medic Ninja (healer)
> 
> This chapter was brought to you by Kakashi and Sasuke. This is where I start really using alternating POVs. I'm not actually sure when we'll get back to Naruto, but I'm having so much fun writing everyone else's reactions that I can't help myself!
> 
> If you want recs on stories for BnHa, VLD, Harry Potter, or Naruto, or just want to pester me into actually writing out the fics I said I would, come by and chat/poke/spy on my [main](http://munchin-munchkin.tumblr.com/) or [writing](http://pencil-punchin-munchkin.tumblr.com/) tumblrs. 
> 
> If you wanna give me more time to write, support me on [Ko-Fi](https://ko-fi.com/munchinmunchkin)!
> 
> Comments and Kudos are always welcomed.
> 
> Enjoy! \\(*^.^*)/

Kakashi cautiously reads with one (half?) eye while keeping the other on his Genin and the perimeter. He had expected to spend the next week of walking at an old man's pace with no distractions to be dull enough to actually kill him, but was thrown off once again when he was promised by Naruto not to spoil anything he decides to bring with him on any out-of-village missions. _"As long as you give us some training material to work through on our own time, sensei. Fair is fair after all, dattebayo!"_

So a wary Kakashi came to the gate on time and prepared with fifteen books he's had to put into the backlog since he got this team and a few scrolls for his students to go through. His students didn't give the (now useless) pervy book sleeve a single blink, nor did they bombard him with demands for the scrolls he promised the day before.

It puts him on edge, which in turn, puts his team on edge.

So it's no surprise then that the already sensitive Sasuke tenses at the feel of the misplaced Genjutsu puddle during the dry season, that a twitchy Sakura has already come up with and signaled a plan of action in two breaths of her teammate tensing, that an alert Naruto already has one of the more physical pulses ready to go on her mark.

It really is no surprise to anyone other than Tazuna, who was knocked down by a wave of _something_ coming from the little blonde that he was just harassing, and the Demon Brothers who were thrown ass-over-tea-kettle out of the little puddle and managed to get the serrated chain connecting them tangled in their overlarge cloaks, tying the thick fabric down over their heads.

For a second no one moved, Team 7 mostly out of shock at seeing something so stupid rather than first-time battle jitters since Kakashi has long since killed the Genins' fight-or-flight-or-freeze reactions, and the Demon Brothers half because they were genuinely stuck and half because they were beyond embarrassed.

In the next second, the brothers rip through their cloak and rush to attack Kakashi, only to be pinned down by one precise Kunai from Sasuke. They break the connection and try to flank the group to get to the Bridge-Builder instead, but are shocked when the old man turns into Sakura who manages to send them flying into the trees on the other side of the path with one punch each. It's there that they are reverse-ambushed by a squad of Narutos who have managed to wrap them up from head to toe in ninja wire before they could recover from the tree-cracking blow.

"Well," Kakashi drawls from on top of the branch that the Demon Brothers are hanging from. "seems that my cute little students have just taken out a pair of Chuunin level Nukenin instead of the bandits you told us to expect, Tazuna-san." They all (Demon Brothers included) turn to look at where a second Sakura stands behind Sasuke, cowering in a way that has the real Sakura clenching her fists tight enough to creak until Sasuke releases the Genjutsu to reveal the old man who hired them.

Tazuna pales when he meets that smiling gray eye and lets out the smallest whimper that any of them have ever heard.

* * *

Kakashi wakes in an unfamiliar room and would have immediately gone into mission mode if the three chakra signatures gathered around him didn't flare the codes he taught them during their first (technically third) week of training.

"Report." He rasps, feeling gratitude for the packets of hydrating food gels that one of his Genin (Sakura) presses to his forearm, well away from his much more dangerous hands. He accepts their help (Sasuke this time and it does Kakashi's heart good to see this broody boy reaching out) into sitting up and finally opens his eye to see his students with their backs to him while facing either of the two windows or the only door to the room.

"After you fell unconscious, we retrieved Tazuna-san who led us to his home and offered us this room." Sakura began from her place to his right. "Two days have passed during which we have set up a guard rotation for both Tazuna-san while he works on the bridge and for Tsunami-san, his daughter, who remains here most days. Naruto has set up a perimeter patrol of clones for the rest of the village and the house while we rest."

"The clones have had to scare off a few of Gato's thugs from the house and have done light recon on the rest of the village." Naruto picks up from Kakashi's left. "Gato has targeted Tazuna's family before, killing his son-in-law who was also considered to be the hero of the village before he was publicly executed. There's not a lot of food around here because of Gato, so the patrol also hunts and fishes since we have refused to take food from Tsunami and her son, Inari. Other than that, not much has happened except..."

Kakashi hums in question to the uncharacteristic quiet that has fallen on his two most talkative students as he slides his mask back in place, gel packs empty at his side. His students turn to face him as Sasuke joins Sakura beside him instead of staying at Kakashi's back.

"Zabuza's not dead." The Uchiha states, dark eyes meeting Kakashi's with certainty. "The Oinin carried him off instead of burning or storing the body right where he was as is the procedure." And Sasuke would know since Kakashi inadvertently put him on the path of a Hunter-nin since the Sharingan Reveal.

"He's not dead," Kakashi confirms, grimacing with his students at what this probably means. "While I do not know for sure whether the Oinin is the real deal or not since Kiri is still a mess, they're probably working with Zabuza at the very least." He motions to his neck in the same spot that Zabuza was hit while turning to Sakura. "Senbon are precision weapons that can hit almost any pressure point in the body, including those that can trigger a near-death-like state like the one Zabuza was in." He gestures to Naruto to get his pack and pulls out three scrolls (and a book for himself, not even bothering to swap out the covers this time), handing one to each of his students before smiling at them in earnest.

"You three have done very well." He praises, amused at how they all puff up a little in response. Maybe he should be nicer to them? "Keep up with what you've been doing and incorporate what training you can for now. I'll have recovered enough in three days to go over those scrolls with you, so you better have read them before then. We probably have a little over a week before Zabuza comes back. Make sure you're ready to face the Oinin if he shows up this time too."

* * *

The next day, Naruto is on watch at the house while Sasuke and Sakura are at the bridge. He's sitting with Kakashi, scroll from the day before laying open in his lap and eyes looking far beyond the walls of the little room they were in.

It took twenty minutes before Naruto jolted out of his thoughts with some sort of epiphany visibly blooming on his face. Kakashi kept his eye on his book, waiting to see if Naruto was willing to share, but when almost ten more minutes had gone by with nothing more than some excited looks being flicked his way, he decided to bite the kunai.

"What is it, Naruto?" Kakashi asked, trying not to sound more annoyed than he actually was.

"Um." Naruto starts, fidgeting in a way that Kakashi expected more from Sakura than from his blonde student. "You- I mean- Do you like _Bandit Without Faith_?

For a second, Kakashi has no idea what Naruto is talking about, but then he realizes that he just named the book still in Kakashi's hand and all his hackles go up immediately.

Naruto backpedals even though (or maybe because) Kakashi hasn't moved a single muscle. "I wasn't going to spoil anything, I swear!" he cries, all but begging Kakashi to believe him. "I was just asking because I wanted to know if you've read any of Ootani-sensei's other books!"

Kakashi just gives the boy a blank look, confusion back in full as he can't understand why Naruto, the dead-last of the Academy, would want to talk about books. Then Kakashi remembers that this is the same boy that has ruined the ending of six books, given his opinion of 2 separate series, threatened him with the plot twists of books from at least four different genres, and even gave his (admittedly hilarious) opinions on some of the poems in the one collection Kakashi had picked up during his time in Iwa. He isn't sure how he missed it, but it's very obvious that Naruto is either an avid reader in his own right or has somehow managed to have the exact same taste in books as Kakashi. A more distant realization of Naruto's innate talent at misdirection and intelligence gathering makes itself known, but Kakashi pushes that down to be analyzed when they're back in the village.

He gives his student, now leaning as close to the wall as he can without looking like he's actually cowering, a final once over before conceding to his curiosity. "Why?"

Apparently, that was all Naruto needed to get over his fear because he jumps to the edge of the bedroll (nearly triggering Kakashi's reflex to swat at things flying towards him), almost vibrating in excitement. "Because I wanted to know if you've read Ootani-sensei's other book _Warriors of the Banished_! I was thinking of some of the things that my clones have picked up during recon and Gato is a lot like Matsuda with the whole 'taking over and choking out the life of a nation' thing. They even had the same ideas of doing it through the merchant guilds and oppressing the people through public displays and stuff, right?"

Kakashi blinks at the sparkling joy coming off the (now confirmed to be) well-read blonde and vows to keep this already bright boy away from Maito Gai for as long as possible. "Mah, I have read _Warriors of the Banished_ and I can see why you'd say that, but what does tha-" he cuts off as a stupid thought pops into his head.

Naruto's smile grows and Kakashi knows for sure that he's somehow made the exact same connection as his unpredictable student. "Yes! Zabuza is Hideyoshi! I mean, sure Hideyoshi is a samurai, but he's also a Ronin and Zabuza is a Nukenin who is also a swordsman and it just fits!"

Kakashi leans away from the enthusiasm assaulting him while trying to figure out why this bizarrely accurate parallel is so important. It comes to him a second later.

"You think Gato is going to betray Zabuza and try to kill him so that he won't have to pay him."

"EXACTLY!" Naruto bursts, causing Kakashi to flinch at the volume. "Gato is the exact same type of asshole as Matsuda and Zabuza is the exact same kind of desperate revolutionary as Hideyoshi. It only makes sense that if Matsuda would do that to Hideyoshi, then Gato would do the same to Zabuza!"

"Naruto, Gato and Zabuza are real people, not characters in a book. No matter how many similarities there are, we can't just assume this will go the same way..." Kakashi drifts off, thinking on Naruto's word choice. "Desperate revolutionary?"

At that, Naruto deflates a bit. "Yeah? I mean, I didn't remember right away, but I read a little about Kiri's history and political situation and the Zabuza we fought has to be the same one that's called the 'Demon of the Bloody Mist' who killed three years' worth of students when he was only like nine years old, putting an end to the Bloody Graduations of the Sandaime Mizukage's time. There isn't much else on him after that except that he became one of the Seven Swordsman and the time he tried to kill the Yondaime Mizukage the same year the Bloodline Purges were sanctioned." Naruto looks down to his lap, hands tugging on the edges of his sleeves as he fidgets once more. "I know I might be wrong and that this will make me sound like a little kid, but I don't think Zabuza is actually a bad guy." He looks up at this, hands flailing as he tries to articulate his thoughts. "I don't just mean in the way where he's just a nin doing a job! I mean- uh- He's killed a lot of people and tried to kill his Kage, which is bad, but the Yondaime Mizukage is kind of batshit crazy and the scrolls all said how Kiri was already on its way to a Civil War and if Zabuza didn't do it, then someone else would have."

Neither of them says anything after this as Kakashi comes to terms with the fact that Naruto's library apparently includes international politics and history (Which is just. How?!) and Naruto waits to see if his sensei can see what seems so obvious to him.

"You think," Kakashi starts, carefully considering his words. "that we can talk to Zabuza about honor the same way that Kiyoko did with Hideyoshi and get him to what? Go after Gato instead?" He gives Naruto a disbelieving look. "Zabuza is still a ninja, even if he's a Swordsman. He won't have the same oaths or high regard for honor that samurai do."

"I know that!" Naruto snaps back with a pout. "I just- remember how Hideyoshi only took Matsuda's offer because he had information on Lady Kotone and promised to pay him enough money to last him until he found her? I think Gato is doing the same thing with Zabuza- the money part, not the lost Lady part- and I don't think Zabuza is the kind of guy that would leave Kiri the way it was so he's probably earning money for another try at revolution. If the bridge Old Man Tazuna is building really is that dangerous to Gato, then he'd probably offer a lot of money to make sure it wasn't built. Except, he doesn't even actually pay the guys he has now!" A scowl takes over Naruto's face that painfully reminds Kakashi of Kushina. "Whenever those thugs came around to collect 'taxes' from people in the village, my clones heard them complain about how they barely see a coin after they deliver it to Gato. The only reason most of them stay is because he's either got dirt on a lot of them or lets them do whatever they want to the villagers. A guy like that probably won't pay Zabuza a single Ryo." A sympathetic sadness takes over the scowl and oh, that's Minato-sensei right there. "I won't say he's a good guy, but Zabuza is definitely not a bad one from what I've read. I just think he's angry and desperate enough to be tricked by a worm like Gato and doesn't deserve it for trying to fix his village by fighting the only way he was taught. I mean," He throws his hands up, eyes a little wet from how wound up he's gotten. "He never even scratched out his hitai-ate!"

Kakashi stares a little wide-eyed at his most surprising student and wonders how this boy can be so much like the parents he's never met with his father's disarming intelligence and his mother's righteous outlook on life and yet still wholly himself with that kind of logic-based empathy. He swallows down the fear and guilt at the kind of life Naruto might have had to end up this way and decides to at least hear him out.

"Alright, what do you have in mind?"

* * *

Sasuke huffs a breath when the elderly woman he was helping pats his head and tells him to take a break. Before, he would have scoffed in her face for even asking for help with something like delivering packages, but he's spent two weeks guarding these people, seeing them go hungry and nearly cry when he shared his food, has had children smile at him and old men shake his hand in thanks for lighting a few fires or show them how to make simple traps, has seen these same down-trodden people come together at the words of a little boy and fight to take back their home.

So when Hamako-obaasan hands him three onigiri instead of another bag of Ryo from Gato's hideout to distribute among the villagers, he just returns one of them and asks that she rests while he's gone. Her smile grows and Sasuke carries it with him as he searches for his teammates who he hasn't seen since morning.

He finds Sakura sitting on the railing of the bridge, legs swinging as she works her way through a ration's worth of dried meat and the beginners Iryonin scrolls Kakashi gave her the week before. He jumps up to sit with her and trades another onigiri for some boar as he pulls out the second scroll of Oinin practices their sensei gave him, happy that Sakura doesn't do more than smile and blush faintly at his actions. He thinks back on that day they found out about Kakashi's Sharingan, how they were told the story of Uchiha Obito and how he finally shared what happened the night of the Massacre. He thinks about his teammates' watery eyes and how Naruto's turned to tears of empathy while Sakura's became righteous fury.

The memory of her blowing up a training post with just her anger and chakra-filled fists while cursing That Man and vowing to help Sasuke find justice as Naruto solemnly agrees with her is one he will hold close to his heart for a long time.

Sakura snorts from his side and when he gives her a questioning brow, she nods at the group walking towards them from the village. "Looks like it's time to get the other Rebels." She muses, flashing a commiserating smile at how impossible their life seems to be right now.

Sasuke hums in agreement as he takes another bite of meat and they both turn to look at their final teammate who they all (Kakashi especially) agree is to blame for everything.

When Naruto first suggested the idea, Sasuke immediately wanted to reject it. Having Kakashi side with him had Sasuke thinking that the argument was closed, but when Sakura voted against him (something that Sasuke isn't sure he'll ever get used to), Sasuke changed his mind.

_"Naruto's better at reading people than any of us and while I don't think it's smart to base all of this off of hearsay and stories, he's not wrong in saying that those books are based on things that can and sometimes already have happen." She flicks a sly smile towards Kakashi. "Besides, we've seen Naruto do the impossible every day for almost a month now." She giggles as Kakashi (somehow) pouts with what little of his face they could see. "I say that we give his plan a shot, but let's have a few backups just in case."_

While he was peeved that his fight with Haku was cut short, he had to give Naruto credit for predicting how things would play out. Honestly, with how many history texts and scrolls on international policies (of which Sasuke was half convinced came from the Sandaime himself) that Naruto has been reading during the "Waiting Hours," Sasuke should just let Naruto take the lead when dealing with messes like this.

Sakura's giggles have Sasuke channeling chakra to his ears to listen in on the group as they walk by and must hold back a snort himself at the disbelief still coating everyone's voices. Well, everyone, but Naruto.

"...sure that Konoha won't retaliate if we set up Base here? It might be years until we can take back Kiri." Zabuza asks Kakashi, but it's Naruto who answers him.

"It'll be fine! I mean, Old Man Tazuna already owes us some tariff-free trade routes so we'll probably be sending more people here, but Hokage-jiji won't do anything to you guys as long as you don't try to mess with Konoha. Plus, if you make requests in the name of Wave instead of Kiri or the Kiri-Rebellion then we might even be able to help you guys out."

"Don't make promises for the Hokage, Naruto." Kakashi warns in a voice that is equal parts tired as it is exasperated.

"I'm not!" Naruto huffs, cheeks round as he pouts. "I said 'might.'"

Haku laughs quietly from Naruto's other side. "It is alright, Naruto-kun. We will wait for an official envoy from Konoha and work out what we can."

"Don't worry!" Tazuna bellows from the front of the group, shoulders free of stress and eyes shining with joy. "We might not have a Daimyo anymore, but Wave can still offer you Rebels asylum for your protection." His voice returns to a more normal level when they reach the final stretch of the bridge still left to complete. "You boys stay safe, alright? Hopefully, you'll be back before these guys have to leave which'll be just in time for the grand unveiling of the bridge!"

Sasuke and Sakura have joined the rest of Team 7 by now, ignoring the cries for help coming from their sensei's eyes and the snickering from the Swordsman in front of them as Sakura greets Haku and they both flank Naruto in a way that has become second nature by now.

Sasuke meets Haku's eyes and dips his head in acknowledgment. "I hope we can spar again in the near future." Sasuke says, blatantly disregarding the fact that their last 'spar' was a fight-to-the-death intense enough to awaken his Sharingan.

Haku smiles in response, eyes bright with a spark of mischief that he's obviously learned from Naruto (oh kami, it's contagious) this past week. "If we return early enough, then maybe. Otherwise, I wish you continued good health and fortune."

"Hn, and to you." Sasuke grunts, secretly hoping the tactics he's learning to become a Hunter-nin will be enough to actually catch the other boy the next time they fight.

Sasuke steps back to Kakashi, watching as Sakura shares similar words and smiles with Haku before joining him. The three of them watch Naruto literally bounce around the Kiri-nin, trying not to laugh as the cries of "Haku-nii" or _"Zabu-ji"_ turn the pair two very different shades of red.

"You know," Sasuke says quietly enough to only catch the attention of the rest of his team as Zabuza plants a firm hand on Naruto's head to keep him in place. "Naruto is going to be our Hokage."

He meets Sakura's eyes and sees no surprise at his words as they pretend to not hear the strangled noise from their sensei behind them.

"What-" Kakashi starts, voice still strained. "What makes you say that?"

Saying _'because he lead the movement that freed a country from oppression and secured a promising trading hub for Konoha along with quality enough in-village security that it won't cost us additional troops while also obtaining an alliance with either the future Mizukage or the future Head of what might grow into Namigakure or BOTH in a single move where the only real bloodshed was that of the corrupt oppressor's and his army of bandits'_ would be too much effort to explain to Kakashi what he already knows, so Sasuke just shrugs instead.

Sakura bumps his shoulder, letting him know that she heard what he left unsaid and Sasuke feels a little warm from being understood so easily.

 _'Yeah,'_ Sasuke thinks as Naruto comes back to them, smiling bright enough that Sasuke wants to squint. _'he'll be a good Hokage.'_ He catches Sakura's eye again and tries not to flush when she smiles equally as bright. _'We just have to get him there.'_

* * *

_"You're telling me that Naruto brokered a peace treaty with an army of Nukenin from one of the most ruthless of the Hidden Villages while relocating them to a country that both borders ours and is indebted to Konoha specifically?"_

_"The relocation is mostly temporary on the stipulation that Terumi Mei takes Kirigakure, Hokage-sama."_

_"And if she doesn't?"_

_"Then Momochi Zabuza will lead the remaining Kiri Shinobi from Nami."_

_"Am I to assume that he will remain there even if the rebellion is successful?"_

_"Probably."_

_"Great. Is there anything else I'm missing, Kakashi?"_

_"The people of Nami also named the bridge after Naruto, Hokage-sama."_

_"Sweet sage, he's not even thirteen and he already has a monument. What in the hells kind of adventure book are we living in..."_

_"Well, have you read any of Ootani-sensei's works? Naruto cites them as his main inspiration in his mission report."_

_"Get out of my office."_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hint: Naruto's trick was used both in canon by another character and irl by my brother on me. Both incidences were indeed cringe-worthy even if the canon-character rarely ever cringes.
> 
> Yes, Naruto reads a _lot_ in this AU. No, that still doesn't explain _how_ he knows what Kakashi is reading, just (partially) why he's able to spoil so many endings.


	3. The Mandatory Chuunin Exams

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Still unbeta'd.
> 
> IT'S STILL FRIDAY SO I MADE MY DEADLINE!
> 
> Heads-up, this is only covering the first two parts of the exam and the prelims. I'm grouping the Tournament with the Invasion, which I WILL be including so... spoiler alert? (haha. title drop. so funny...)
> 
> Distance Field Sign = a made-up combination of Morse Code, Charades, and Air Traffic Control Runway Signs  
> Shintenshin = Mind Body Transfer (Yamanaka Clan Technique)  
> Dōjutsu = Eye Techniques  
> Kage Henge = Shadow Transformation (The practical Shinobi version of the Oiroke no Jutsu)
> 
> This chapter was brought to you (mostly) by Morino Ibiki and Haruno Sakura aka my [Bubblegum Bitch](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Gr9AeY3bCwc). Don't worry, Kakashi and Naruto are still very present. (*≧艸≦)
> 
>  **10/26/20 EDIT:** Added a blurb at the end of the chapter because the previous ending was too abrupt and unfunny for the tone I want this fic to maintain. Gives a bit of backstory to Naruto's library and how it came to be, but otherwise changes nothing. Accompanying notes at the end too.
> 
> If you want recs on stories for BnHa, VLD, Harry Potter, or Naruto, or just want to pester me into actually writing out the fics I said I would, come by and chat/poke/spy on my [main](http://munchin-munchkin.tumblr.com/) or [writing](http://pencil-punchin-munchkin.tumblr.com/) tumblrs. 
> 
> If you wanna give me more time to write, support me on [Ko-Fi](https://ko-fi.com/munchinmunchkin)!
> 
> Comments and Kudos are always welcomed.
> 
> Enjoy! \\(*^.^*)/

For a long moment, Kakashi debates on not entering his students into the Chuunin Exams.

It's not because he doesn't think they're ready, he just really _REALLY_ wants to use this chance to blackmail his students into giving him some peace of mind so he can actually make a dent in the backlog of books slowly taking over his apartment. But then he considers how quickly all three have progressed in their training in the past three months, on Sakura's slightly terrifying Taijutsu displays, Sasuke's ever-growing innovation with ninja tools and stealth, and Naruto's ability to soak up anything Kakashi taught like a deceptively smart sponge, and he realizes that if they ever caught wind of him even thinking of not entering them, they'd destroy him.

 _No,'_ he thinks, fingers digging into the book covering most of his horrified face. _'it's not_ me _they would try to ruin. At the very least, Naruto would teach the other two however he does his little trick, and then I'll have THREE story-spoiling-stalkers ruining books before I even_ buy _them.'_

That is why when the Sandaime asks after the Rookie Teams, Kakashi doesn't hesitate and is the first one to throw his brats into the line of fire.

And if in the deepest darkest part of Kakashi's heart lives the sincere wish that the three brats would be promoted and _finally_ taken away from him, well. No one had to know.

* * *

Ibiki doesn't know what to make of Team 7.

He's heard the rumors, seen the investigations several members of T&I and some ANBU have done into figuring out how the Kyuubi-runt is able to lead Hatake by the nose, watched as the brats interacted with their age-mates, and came up with nothing.

Even now, as almost every proctor has their eyes on the three Genin, Ibiki can see that not a single one of them has any idea how they're all filling out the tests without any concrete signs of cheating. Sure, the Uchiha is keeping his eyes on the kunoichi of their team and is copying her pencil movements exactly, so Ibiki would say that he's using his recently awoken Dōjutsu, except that his eyes are still pitch black. The Kyuubi-runt seems to be doing the opposite, somehow only writing moments after the girl stops even though he can't see either of his teammates from his seat. The girl, on the other hand, doesn't seem to be cheating at all and is simply working out the problems in her head, something Ibiki has never seen outside of the Nara clan. In fact, he'd have thought her a Chuunin plant under a Henge if it wasn't for how she stopped for a solid two minutes after each question, giving the blonde just enough time to fill out the problem and the Uchiha a chance to read over what he's written.

Ibiki narrows his eyes as the girl pops the gum in her mouth again, just like she has every time she finishes a question. It's a single pop that seems to be used as a way to agitate the other examinees (except for her teammates of course) instead of a subtle code of some sort like the various taps or chakra flares that all the proctors have caught so far. The pop is a signal or a cover-up for something, but Ibiki can't figure out what.

One of the proctors stationed closer to the girl signals him after the eighth pop and relays through subtle signs that there are wisps of smoke curling out from the girl's hands. Ibiki's frown deepens the slightest degree and he shifts all of his focus onto her as she reads through the ninth question. Sure enough, as soon as she finishes writing, she shifts her "empty" hand a little closer to the answer box and waits three seconds before popping her gum in time with the sudden cloud of smoke that is barely visible as it diffuses through her fingers.

 _'So,'_ he smirks, signing to the proctor to let it go since smoke isn't any kind of proof. _'it was a coverup for some sort of release.'_ He thinks on what he's read from their files and wants to bet on the Kyuubi-runt's Kage Bunshin, but isn't sure how they managed to fit one (let alone nine) under that tiny hand or when they planted the clones in the first place.

Honestly, Ibiki would be mighty pissed at being outsmarted by some rookies if he wasn't so impressed.

Twenty-five minutes later and Ibiki is determined to give Team 7 his vote for promotion. Granted, he was a little annoyed when Uzumaki Naruto (as he made damn certain everyone heard) called out his bluff before even half the room was empty, but seeing the effect of the blonde's words on everyone be they foreign Genin or the Chuunin proctors, had him reminiscing of the Yondaime's glory days.

What really cinches it, however, is when he's handed Team 7's papers. Sure enough, they all have the same answers written word-for-word with the Uchiha's going so far as to match the flowery curls of his female teammate. The only real discrepancy between them, to each other and to all the tests in their batch, is the writing in the tenth answer box.

The kunoichi, Haruno Sakura, cited the reference materials and even lesson plans given by Umino Iruka that she used to put together her answers. Uchiha Sasuke, in his own handwriting this time, only wrote _'colored contacts,'_ making Ibiki want to laugh. Uzumaki Naruto's answer though, that one made Ibiki pause.

_'Dear Mr. Scary Proctor Guy,_

_Sakura said we're only able to take the Chuunin exams 5 times before we were restricted to field promotions. If that's true, then Yakushi Kabuto is either lying about taking it 7 times or lying about taking them as "Yakushi Kabuto" or someone lied for him so that both of those things are true. Jiji always said, "measure someone's words against their actions to find the true worth of their motives." So I'm not sure why a guy who would warn us about drawing too much attention would then make himself a target by showing off his "ninfo cards" (stupid name when the bingo book is already a thing) while giving away some confidential information on his comrades in a room full of foreign nin, but it seems pretty suspicious to me._

_Hope this helps and that you have_ _a nice day!_

_Uzumaki Naruto, future Hokage_

_P.S. My beetle clones are not how I "do my little trick" as Kakashi-sensei likes to say. I only figured out I could do that today when I saw Shino. Please tell the rest of your guys to leave it alone and stop watching us. You're making Sasuke even twitchier than normal._

"Beetle clones?" Ibiki mumbles to himself on his way to T&I so he can write up his observations for the Exam Committee after telling one of his men to pull information on Yakushi Kabuto. A ladybug crawls onto his hand from within the stack of papers just as he's about to step foot outside of the Academy, but he stops when he registers exactly what he's seeing. The beetle, who appears to have come when he called, looks more like one of the Kikaichu from the Aburame if the clan bred their parasitic bugs in neon orange with blue spots. Ibiki raises the little thing closer to his face and notes with bemusement that the yellow antennae are actually waving to him. 

_'Wait,'_ he squints at the slow repetitive movements. _'that's Distance Field Sign. They still teach that at the Academy?'_

After changing destinations to the Jounin Command Center, it takes the better part of the walk for Ibiki to decode the message, but he has to laugh when he does.

"Alright," he tells the little beetle, ignoring the fearful looks his actions are gaining. "say 'Bi, Goma, Go' to let her know I'm fine with it as long as she tells me afterward and _you_ tell me how you've used a solid Henge on a Kage Bunshin. I give you my word that we won't spill either secret to anyone else and I'll even tell the other Shinobi to back off since you three have made me laugh more in a single hour than I have in three years." He spots a shock of silver hair and doesn't hide his grin as he slips into the seat across from one falsely relaxed Jounin. He looks back to the orange beetle who was signing an affirmative while almost dancing across his fingers. "Now shoo so your boss knows what's up." The beetle bows and signs one final message before dispelling itself with a tiny cloud of smoke, leaving a slightly confused Ibiki behind.

"The Daimyo's daughter did it?" he muses out loud, unsure of what that could mean when a choked sound came from the Shinobi in front of him, drawing the attention of everyone in the room.

Hatake Kakashi was staring at him with a terror filling his eye that Ibiki honestly didn't think the man was capable of feeling. The book in his hand was nearly ripped in half with how hard the man was clutching at it, revealing peeks of a different cover under the abused orange jacket. The lounge has gone quieter than any battlefield Ibiki has ever known as every Jounin watch with held breaths while Kakashi slips into a battle-ready stance and visibly begins calculating a rapid exit.

"I was supposed to have five days." They all hear him hiss before he shouts. "Five days!" Everyone pulls their weapons when Kakashi leaps to his feet, but they don't move to restrain him when all he does is hug his little battered book to his chest.

"Did he teach you how?" he asks Ibiki, eye wide and voice wobbly. "Did they trade me in for a pass through the first part of the exam?"

Ibiki wonders if maybe he shouldn't vie for Team 7's promotion just to preserve what little of Hatake's sanity remains, but then realizes the opportunity that has just landed in his lap. He keeps his face neutral and answers with honesty.

"I don't take bribes, Hatake." he says with a firm voice that has all the Jounin, Kakashi included, wincing and relaxing immediately. "Your team all passed on their own merits, that kunoichi of yours especially. Practically carried her teammates through the test without having to cheat at all." he huffs what some might call a laugh as he waves the papers still in his grip. "Even left a list of references to verify her work." Life begins to trickle back into the room as nonverbal gossip picks up between the bystanders that grew even more as Ibiki continues. "The little Uchiha covered his tracks well and even confirmed a theory I've had about Dōjutsu users for years. Uzumaki though," He carefully says as he rests the stack of papers on his knee, knowing that even mentioning the blonde might trigger the other man, but is sure that letting the paranoia fester would be even worse. "he's certainly got a way with people. Called my bluff right to my face too, but I still like him enough to want to recruit him." He ignores the incredulous noises from their audience as he hardens his eyes, making sure that Kakashi is paying him full attention. "They didn't trade you for a pass through the first exam."

Ibiki waits a full minute as the tension in Kakashi's frame slowly bleeds out, before grinning like a shark and causing everyone in the room to flinch.

"The second exam, however, is a completely different story. That's Anko's show and she's been _very_ curious about how Uzumaki does his _'little trick'_ so who knows what she'll promise." The fear has actually doubled on Kakashi's face and Ibiki promises to make sure that he and Anko don't abuse this gift as he crinkles his eyes in a mocking eye-smile. "I hope your psych evals are up-to-date, Hatake. Don't want to let anything important slip through, now would we?"

With over twenty Jounin acting as witnesses, the terror on Hatake Kakashi's face finally turns into resignation as he nods before using a Shunshin to hide and lick his wounds.

Ibiki gets to his feet once more, stirring the other Jounin into action. They form an even larger perimeter around him than before as he finally sets off for T&I, making him feel a little like he just went up a class in the bingo book despite not having appeared in one for nearly six years. Ibiki looks to the sky, the accomplishment of finally breaking one of the most stubborn Jounin he's ever had the displeasure of working with filling him as a sincere smile crosses his face.

_'Thank you, Uzumaki Naruto.'_

Near a deadly forest not so far away, a blonde boy sneezes and nearly drops the second scroll the proctor just slipped to him but catches it before it could fall out of his sleeve. He quietly heaves a relieved breath as he joins his teammates at their gate with a bright smile from one and a decisive nod from the other. The buzzer sounds, sending them bounding off full tilt towards the center without a word shared between them.

* * *

Five hours, fourteen minutes, and twenty-eight seconds.

That was the shortest amount of time that anyone had taken to complete the second part of the Chuunin exams in the twenty years of records Sakura was able to find in the Shinobi archives. Well, of the sixty-seven percent of exams that had taken place in the Forest of Death. The Konoha record for the second exam was actually one hour, forty-two minutes, and fifty-nine seconds held by a Suna team who breezed through a poison-based puzzle room. Still, they were both impressive times to complete the objectives and make it to the checkpoint in such a hostile environment without any losses for anyone of their rank.

It made Team 7's new record all the sweeter.

 _'Thirty-two minutes and seventeen seconds~'_ Sakura sings in her mind for the nth time since entering the tower. She bites back a giggle at the memory of the face of the puppeteer from the Suna team that came in an hour behind them as she watches him counter-constrict his opponent with his puppet.

 _'I probably would have missed the switch if he hadn't already revealed himself to be a puppeteer in the First Exam...'_ she muses as the match is called. Flashbacks of "captured alone in enemy territory" training with Kakashi caused her to shiver even as she internally smirked. _'At least_ I _would've been able to escape.'_

"Already scared, Forehead?" Ino sneered, bringing Sakura back to the present. For a second, she has no idea what Ino is talking about, but then she catches sight of the screen above the arena and smirks before she can stop herself.

_Haruno Sakura vs. Yamanaka Ino_

"You wish, Pig."

She meets Ino's surprised eyes and gives a little vicious smile when Sasuke huffs a laugh as Naruto cheers loudly behind her. A large hand lands on her head and she tilts back to meet Kakashi's eye. It crinkles in that way they all have learned means genuine affection as her sensei gives her one last bit of advice.

"Remember your goals, Sakura."

Immediately, she thinks of the promises they made as a team, to each other, to themselves, and nods once. _'Right, this is only the Prelims.'_ She subtly takes stock of her tools, weapons, and chakra as she makes her way down the stairs, ignoring the jeers from Ino beside her. _'I can't give everything away here when it's only those in the finals that they actually consider for promotion.'_ She bows to the proctors and the Hokage before facing Ino, trying not to smile at the sight of the rest of her team watching her with what she thinks is pride. _'Gotta make this quick just like Sasuke-kun so that no one really knows what I can do.'_

The proctor starts the match and Sakura rushes Ino with her natural speed. She can see how thrown off Ino is at how much faster she has gotten since the Academy, but focuses on her target. Ino's reflexes save her from the kunai Sakura swipes at her neck but fails to catch the feint that lets Sakura get behind her. Sakura throws a chakra punch at Ino's back, missing when Ino backflips to get behind her, but manages to ruin the other's landing when Sakura buries her fist into the stone. She hears Ino stutter in shock, a mistake that gives her the time needed to pull her fist from the shallow crater while simultaneously going into a series of spin kicks that nearly cuts off that fluttering blonde bang, and forces Ino into jumping out of range.

Ino throws three shuriken that Sakura counters midair with two of her own, leaving Sakura's third to fly free. Ino gasps when the deflection of one interrupts the flight of another, only dodging the last one of Sakura's shuriken on reflex alone. Sakura presses forward, not giving Ino a chance to breathe, and engages the blonde in a Taijutsu battle. _I thought I had finally reached Ino's level...'_ Ino is obviously wary of Sakura's new strength and is prioritizing evasion instead of going for the openings that Sakura knows she still has. _'But could I have actually...'_ A punch finally lands on Ino's bandaged side, launching the other girl across the floor, her bare shoulders scraping as she rolls to a stop on the other side of their fighting space. Ino coughs once and gets to her feet, looking at Sakura with shock and some anger. _'Have I actually surpassed her?'_

"What the hell, Forehead?!" Ino screams and Sakura is surprised that she doesn't stamp her foot to match her tone. "How- When did you get this strong?!"

Sakura blinks as she remembers that while they graduated together, Ino wasn't trained by Kakashi-sensei. Ino wasn't teamed up with the perfectionist that was Sasuke and the resourceful Naruto and had to prove that she deserved her place on that team every single day. 

It was Sakura that finally figured out her strengths when she outdid Sasuke during Genjutsu training. It was Sakura that came up with most of the team's strategies on and off the field. It was Sakura that went to Wave and faced Haku head-on with only Sasuke for support as they stalled for Naruto and Kakashi to capture and negotiate with Zabuza.

It's Sakura that Naruto calls "Taicho" while on a mission, Sakura who Sasuke follows in the field, Sakura who Kakashi treats like his second-in-command.

It's Sakura who thinks she finally understands what it means to be a kunoichi of the Leaf when she sees the amazement and pride shining in the Hokage's eyes when she meets them over Ino's scraped shoulders. She smiles brightly, causing Ino to flinch back and then gape when Sakura reaches for her hitai-ate.

"I trained almost every single day, Ino, that's how. As for when," She undoes the knot and slides the headband over her forehead, hands brushing the bun Haku taught her how to do and the silk cover her father chose with her mother's embroidering of both of their blessings when she secures her hitai-ate in its rightful place. "I've always been this strong, I just didn't know it for the longest time."

Ino's expression changes and Sakura knows that the match has only just begun. She sends a mental apology to her team when Ino undoes her own hitai-ate, but knows they'll understand that this is a fight she can't hold back in. Not against Ino. _'I'll show her just what kind of kunoichi I've become and maybe..."_ She eyes the long ponytail that Ino leaves unguarded and the body-shaping bandages she wears instead of the mesh armor Sakura began favoring on Kakashi-sensei's recommendation after a particularly brutal training session. _'Maybe I can help her figure out what kind of kunoichi she wants to be too.'_

Ino secures her own hitai-ate and runs forward to meet Sakura's challenge. Sakura blocks a kunai with her own and they're locked into another Taijutsu fight. It ends when Sakura blocks a kick and misses Ino stabbing the end of Sakura's dress into the ground. Ino jumps away and puts her hands in a familiar sign that Sakura recognizes as the Yamanaka's Shintenshin and knows that she can't risk being caught. Sakura slashes her dress and flips out of Ino's sightline, sending two kunai to herd Ino towards the third with an already lit tag attached.

The tag goes off and releases a cloud of smoke instead of the usual explosion, covering half the field and shrinking the space that Ino can safely use her Clan's technique. Ino looks furious but still keeps her wits enough to dodge Sakura's fists as they dent the ground after a series of brutal strikes. Sakura has another kunai in hand and slashes wide, forcing Ino into the smoke cloud now at her back, but Ino twists into a flip above Sakura's body instead.

Just as she planned.

Sakura grabs Ino's ponytail midflight and yanks her down, ignoring the cry of pain the other girl gives. She wraps the soft strands around her hand once and puts her kunai to the vulnerable neck now exposed to her.

"Forfeit." Sakura commands, fists tight and voice hard enough that she thinks no one can tell that there's an emotional storm raging inside her. Ino's rapid breathing stills and Sakura thinks she's won when resolve steels the bleeding shoulders in front of her.

"No."

Ino's hands are already on a kunai, the same one Sakura didn't notice that had pinned her dress before, and slices her hair free.

Sakura is shocked into stillness and the blonde strands slip through her fingers as the guilt rises fast. "Ino..." The whisper slips out, but she can't be sorry that it did because she knows how much Ino loves her hair, as silky as her mother's and long like her father, but with a brightness all its own.

Ino is already back out of range, a tiny and jagged ponytail fanning out behind her with a trail of hair connecting the two of them. "I won't forfeit to you, Sakura." Her hands form the sign for the Shintenshin once more and Sakura reflexively tries to dodge only to find herself trapped. "I won't let you go either." Ino grins and Sakura can see the chakra threading through the other girl's hair and holding her fast to the ground and feels melancholic pride at the sight. "Now lose for me. Shintenshin no Jutsu!"

Sakura's mind goes blank and vaguely feels like she's lost. " _You've bloomed beautifully, Sakura, but it's still my win."_ Sakura can feel her own hand raise and her voice speak without her permission. "I, Haruno Sakura, would like to for-"

"No!" Naruto shouts from the balcony, cutting Ino off and waking Sakura from her daze. "You've worked too hard to get here, Sakura. You can't lose to Ino!"

 _"He's right. I've come too far to let you win, Ino."_ Sakura's voice grows with her spirit as Ino struggles to keep control of her body.

"What's wrong, are you withdrawing?" The proctor asks, sparking Sakura's rage once more.

"No! I won't be forfeiting now or ever!" Sakura screams as she grips her own head, gathering all of Ino's chakra. _'Get OUT!'_

Sakura collapses to her knees from the forced release and heaves deeply, feeling much more drained than she anticipated when the fight began. She can hear Ino's ragged breathing across the room and knows that they both only have one last move left in them.

She falls forward, arms wrapped around her middle as she coughs wetly into the ground. The sounds of Ino getting to her feet reaches her ears and Sakura puts her plan into action.

She rolls to the side, leaving Bunshin like after-images in her wake. The three Sakuras get to their feet and all dart towards Ino who jumps back to avoid all their hits. Two of the Bunshin fade leaving one breathless Sakura to run forward with a kunai in hand. Ino meets her swipes blade for blade when Sakura slips and Ino's kunai is buried to the hilt in Sakura's shoulder.

Ino goes still, eyes wide and filling with tears as blood flows down her hand. She lets the blade go and moves to catch the falling body when Sakura's voice comes from behind her.

"Sorry, Ino."

The Genjutsu Sakura wove when she fell forward released and the bleeding body in Ino's arms fades. Ino moves to block Sakura's strike, but it never comes as the punch of another clone phases through the side of her head, and the sound a release at Ino's feet reveals the real Sakura in place of the kunai the Genjutsu version had held.

Sakura doesn't hesitate and delivers a devastating blow to the same bandaged spot on Ino's side as before and sends her flying once more. She watches the other girl roll even further than last time and waits for three deep breaths for Ino to move. She doesn't and Sakura finally relaxes as the proctor calls it.

"Winner, Haruno Sakura."

Naruto cheers almost loud enough to drown out the applause of the other teams. Sakura even catches sight of the tough-looking Sand kunoichi giving her an appraising look when she bows to the proctors and the viewers before walking over to Ino. She gathers the other girl into her arms in an awkward fireman's carry and tries to head back to their teams when the Proctor stops her.

"Here, let me..." He maneuvers Ino so that Sakura is carrying her piggyback style instead, nodding in respect when he's done. Sakura nods back and moves towards both their teams.

Ino's sensei, Asuma, is the first of Team 10 to greet her and carefully takes Ino into his own arms, setting her gently against the wall between their two teams. Sakura collapses next to her, waving off Naruto's praise with the last of her adrenaline and sends him back to watch the matches since he still hasn't been called. Sasuke sits next to her and hands her his first-aid kit despite knowing that she has her own. She smiles in thanks, too tired to feel anything beyond fond at the smallest brush of pink on his cheeks, silently asks him to keep Naruto from going over the rails. Kakashi takes Sasuke's place next to her after he leaves, patting her head twice in approval before pulling out his little book.

She's noticing with some amusement that the book is much thinner and the orange sleeve much newer than the ones he was just starting as he told them about their nominations an hour before the actual exams started and makes a mental note to buy Naruto some "Thank You" Ramen when Shikamaru sits on Ino's other side.

Sakura wordlessly hands him the other bottle of disinfectant in Sasuke's kit and they both work on the scrapes and bruises they can see across Ino's skin. It isn't until Sakura is plastering the shallow nick along Ino's neck that Shikamaru speaks.

"I always knew you had a mean punch, but I didn't think you could actually smash through stone like that." He drawls, making it seem like he'd rather be asleep than anything else.

She blows her bangs out of her face when she finishes with the final bandage and gives him a coy little smile. "It's amazing what chakra can do, ne?" Sakura answers in a voice too cute and amazed for the show she just put on. She tries not to giggle at the dead-pan stare she gets in return and tilts her head in challenge instead.

Shikamaru sighs like she's more trouble than she's worth, but she counts it as a win when he gives in to her silent question and asks after what he really wants to know. "That last move with all the Bunshin, the Genjutsu, and the Henge, you never tried anything like that during the Academy. It's also not something that I'd expect a team of Line-Breakers to know. So," He slouches even further into the wall. "where did you learn that kind of misdirection?"

Sakura blinks once at the show of total apathy and wonders if Shikamaru missed the Master of Indifference she calls her sensei or if he thinks that she hasn't learned how to look underneath the underneath while training with Kakashi. She decides to give him the benefit of the doubt and gives him a totally honest answer with the sweetest smile she can manage.

"The same place I learned most things, with my team."

Shikamaru scowls just the tiniest bit when Asuma's huff of laughter reaches them both. Kakashi shuffles the slightest bit, nudging Sakura's shoulder in what she takes as approval. A gust of wind blows through the room from the fight below and Sakura takes the disturbance as a chance to escape from the curious Nara. She folds her legs beneath her and grasps the hand she isn't surprised to see her sensei offering to help her stand. She sends one final smile to Shikamaru and walks away to join the rest of her team.

* * *

_"Oh my god, is that seriously all you have to do?!"_

_"Yeah? It's not that hard."_

_*snort* "Kid, I've been working in Intelligence Gathering for years and I know for a fact that no one has ever thought of using such a simple method and if they did, they never told the rest of us."_

_"Eh? But it's right there. I mean, it works on most Shinobi. I thought someone would have pointed it out sometime in the history of the Hidden Villages."_

_"NooooooooPE. Seriously though, this is a bit of a game-changer. We might have to add a Module or two during Training for new recruits to get the most out of it, but having a chakra-free method of recon is totally worth it."_

_"Hehehe. If you say so, Scary Proctor Lady. Just remember not to use it too much on Kakashi-sensei, kay?"_

_"Just call me Anko, kid. You've earned that right for making my year and don't worry! Bi-kun and I'll just be using this neat 'little trick' to make sure your sensei does his job like you do. Psych evals, better intel reports, maybe show up on time for once in his kami-forsaken life."_

_"Ha. Good luck with that. The other stuff is fine, but Kakashi-sensei would probably be late to his own funeral before he's on time for anything other than a midnight release."  
_

_*snicker* "Got a point there, but you know what I_ don't _get? How you guess the endings to his books."  
_

_"Oh, I don't guess. He's got the same taste in trashy dramatic-romance as Ayame-nee-chan and since she taught me how to read with those books, I remember a lot of the stories."_

_"Holy shit, that's funny as fuck!"_

_"I know right? They're not my thing, but Ayame-nee-chan always picks them when it's her turn and Iruka-sensei likes them enough that I don't have to say much when we talk about them."_

_"Iruka-kun too? I thought the two of you just obsessed over the ramen at that place, not hold a book club."_

_"Hey! We're very serious about Ramen Book Club."_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hint: Naruto can't use his little trick all the time and even when he can, he won't always know how the story ends because of other limiting factors. The beetle clones are related to knowing the plot, but not to how Naruto knows what Kakashi is reading.
> 
> Distance Field Sign went out of fashion after the Third War when radio sets started becoming more reliable, but it's exactly the kind of thing War Veteran Kakashi would teach his Team. With one and a half Sharingan users, a budding strategist, and a natural flailer, Kakashi thought it'd come in handy. Unfortunately, it bit him in the ass when he failed to account for how peeved his students would be when they found out about their Chuunin Exam nominations at the literal last-minute. ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
> 
> "Bi, Goma, Go" means "Ibiki, Sesame, Five" which is basically Ibiki's dango order that only Anko knows. She's the only one who would dare call him Bi-kun.
> 
> The beetle clones were inspired by the "Neji" clones from the series ["Trust Your Nose"](https://archiveofourown.org/series/620383) by [BC_Brynn](https://archiveofourown.org/users/BC_Brynn/pseuds/BC_Brynn) and I totally recommend you all read it along with any of their other stories. Seriously, they're all super unique with quality writing that I just love to pieces!
> 
> This chapter is a little Sakura heavy (and her POV gd hard to write especially in a fight), but I love fics that actually emphasize how smart and hardcore even pre-shippuden Sakura can be like in [Timballisto's](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Timballisto/pseuds/Timballisto) story ["Preliminaries"](https://archiveofourown.org/works/592363) which was a bit of an inspiration for the second half of this chapter. Her match would have been the biggest change for the Prelims and since I skipped the Forest and I didn't think the Genin would actually notice that Orochimaru was trying to creep on them, I decided to leave him out of it for now and try my hand at an in depth fight scene...how did I do? (•ิ_•ิ)?
> 
> Sasuke's and Naruto's fights went pretty much the same as before in case you were wondering. Shikamaru does notice the similarities between all their styles when watching Naruto use that double-blind Kage Bunshin/Henge trick on Kiba, but he can't tell who the idea actually came from. (It was Naruto, but Sakura and Sasuke are learning to do it too through regular Bunshin and Genjutsu for now.)
> 
> The first series that Naruto spoils in this verse are some of the ones he's actually read since Ayame is really into trashy drama (think CW primetime shows meets classic public access daytime soaps) and she sort of used them to teach Naruto how to read since no one else seemed to be helping the little brat. Because they were some of the first books he's been able to read all on his own, Naruto remembers the plots pretty well and tries to keep up with Ayame's suggestions so they can talk about them while he eats. Iruka joins their little book club later and brings in period dramas, shinobi-style mystery (ie: the Genjutsu twist), and a lot of wholesome family-oriented stuff (for that good fluffy crai (༶ඬ༝ඬ༶) ie: Gakuen Babysitters) to help expand Naruto's literary base. This is why Naruto is sometimes able to give more detailed spoilers for Kakashi's books and other times were just summaries given after some light recon. 
> 
> The funny thing is that Kakashi actually expands Naruto's library way more than Iruka with how often he switched series and genres and books in his quest to throw him off. Most of what Naruto shares with the RBC from these unwitting recommendations are the adventure books, a few of the philosophy/poetry, and a surprising number of the political conspiracy books. The former genres are predictable for anyone who has heard the "Talk no Jutsu" or the basics of almost ANY mission that Team 7 has taken, but the latter is a bit of a surprise until you hear Naruto ranting about the fictional "selfish bastards who hog everything for no good reason, but they're the kind of people I gotta work with and around in the future when I'm Hokage, right?" Plus "based on a true story" books blew tiny Naruto's mind away cause he couldn't believe that those things actually happened, but when Ayame laughs and asks what Naruto thought history books were about if not the stories of real people, Naruto just kind of realizes he might have a new favorite genre?

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you liked the story! Comment and Kudos feed my self-esteem but lemme know if you caught any typos or have any questions about the story.
> 
> Anyway, check out my [main](http://munchin-munchkin.tumblr.com/) and [writing](http://pencil-punchin-munchkin.tumblr.com/) tumblrs for shits and ships respectively. (๑ּగ⌄ּగ๑)
> 
> If you wanna give me more time to write, support me on [Ko-Fi](https://ko-fi.com/munchinmunchkin)!


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